Sunday, December 20, 2009

Liberal Sports - Who would win?

If liberals played sports, would there ever be any winners or losers? If you base your thought on everyone is equal, as in those who make X amount of dollars should be forced to give up for those who do not, then this should apply to everything...right?

So in football, if one team scores a touchdown the other team should have one too. Actually a more accurate model would be to give your points to the referees who would distribute them accordingly.

Take it a step further. If one kid makes all A's, they should give away their grades to those who made F's. I mean why should my kids have to study?
Everyone should be equal... right?

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SirJager Football Predictions

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2010 - Yale 9 - Harvard 9
2011 - Yale 3 - Harvard 3
2012 - Yale 5 - Harvard 5


Saturday, November 21, 2009

15 Yards plus a flag to the nuts

Well one Ole Miss Rebel got more than be bargained for on a pass interference penalty.

In the Ole Miss - LSU game, Rebel player Vaughn was covering pretty close on a pass. The LSU receiver missed the ball and Vaughn apparently thought he made a great play. The backfield referee decided it was pass interference on Vaughn and decided to add his own form of penalty.

Right after the play the referee "threw" his flag in the direction of the penalty. Vaughn was celebrating the play and caught the flag...uhhh...well let's just say there was another 'nut' on Vaughn's mind other than his coach(Houston Nutt).

I noticed Vaughn rolling around after the play but didn't catch what happened until they replayed the penalty in all it's glory in slow motion. And yes, those aren't just flags they are throwing. They have beanbags in the flag so they can chunk them twenty or so yards.

That's the first pass interference I've seen that was, "15 yards plus a shot to the nuts!".


Sunday, October 18, 2009

Einhorn is Finkle, Finkle is Einhorn, OMG Tebow is a man!

Tim Tebow holds while Tim Tebow kicks the game winning field goal against Arkansas.

Alllll righty then!

As the saying goes, "Einhorn is Finkle, Finkle is Einhorn...OMG Tim Tebow is a Man!" Yes believe it or not he is actually human.

Before you Gator fans start "chomping" into me, hear me out.

Are you ever concerned that a sportscaster is just going to molest Tim Tebow? I mean these guys are in love with the man.

Don't get me wrong, Tebow is a great player but give us all a break. Sports announcers just can't seem to get enough of saying "Tebow". Yesterday the...ah-hem...kicker won the game for the Florida Gators and I still have no idea who this guys was. The sports announcer was like, "And here's blah blah on to kick,,,, AFTER Tim Tebow drives down the field!" The kicker wins the game and "The kick is Good! Tebow has done it."

At first I thought it was an infatuation with the Florida Gators. Considering it was a non-ESPN channel, who by the way are heads over heels over the #1 college team in the Universe - USC, I thought these guys may just be Gator Maters. But the more I listened I finally figured out, the Florida Gators DIDN'T EVEN PLAY!
It was just Tim Tebow.

And why shouldn't it be, as the whole family was there. I even noticed several family members wearing black and white uniforms running around on the field during the game.

Now, If you go back an analyze the game you'll see it was actually Tim Tebow who kicked the winning field goal! Not only that, Tim Tebow was also the holder. I guess he really is just a one man team.

I can see the headlines next year - "Tim Tebow Drafted to New York Jets, Rest of Team Let Go".

Tim, you're a great player but take my advice; "Never pick up the soap in the shower when a sportscaster is nearby."

Sportscasters, you guys need to control your hormones or I'm gonna have to put you on the Football Sex Offender list.

"annnnd that's a wrap" so says the rant of Sir Jager


Saturday, October 17, 2009

Where the Wild Things Are ...Not - Movie Review

Where the Wild Things Are...Well I can tell you where the I hell want to be - Where the Wild Things Are not. Talk about a crapper of a movie. I mean I felt like I just spent 2 hours with my psychologist.

I never read the book so maybe I'm missing something. But some kid (Max) who goes mental and sails off in a boat to some strange island with a bunch of guys dressed up like the chickens and goats is not my cup of tea.

The best thing that could have happened would the mom could have caught Max running away and beat the shit out of him with a belt and we could have all gone home.

Save your money and go beat the crap out of your stuffed animals.


Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Aliens over Moscow!

This just in... A giant UFO has been spotted over Moscow! Well my first thought was those crazy Russians have been sipping on the old vodka bottle a little too long. Then I saw the video.

The first thing you think of is Independence Day, Russian style. Hold on though... it's just the sun shining through the clouds. Those goofy that a word? Anyway I have to admit it's a pretty cool cloud and probably some UFO kooks will swear up and down "It really was a UFO". Anyway just watch the video to see a really cool cloud.

For myself I'll just get back to reality and write about Ghosts running around on bridges in the middle of Alabama.


Friday, October 09, 2009

Going to see Worst Movie ever!

When do you get a chance to see the worst movie ever made? Well I'm headed to New Orleans this weekend to do just that. Yes I'm going to see Troll 2! Actually I'm going to see a documentary about the movie then watch the movie itself which has become a cult classic.

Is it the worst movie ever? Well I've seen some pretty bad ones so I'll let you know next week if I give it a big thumbs down!


Sunday, October 04, 2009

Gloria's Bridge - Ghost encounter #1

The year was 1984. Reagan was battling the Cold War, David Lee Roth was still in Van Halen, and SirJager went to Gloria's bridge.

What is Gloria's bridge? If you've ever thought of what a haunted bridge might look like, Gloria's bridge was it.

So the story goes...

Legend has it many years ago there was a car wreck on an old bridge and a young girl named Gloria was killed. Some say her body was never found. The legend also goes that if you call her name from the bridge she will appear in front of you.

Now, when a kid turns 16 and gets his driver's license, there are a few things on the to-do list. Aside from the usual, a haunted bridge twenty minutes away, was on the Jager list.

The First Trip
The moon is out, but it's still a dark Autumn night in Alabama. Four kids pile into a Pontiac Sunbird and head for the town of Sylacauga. We were given directions but still not sure we would find the bridge. Our trip carries us through the quiet town center passing an occasional group of high school kids hanging out for the weekend. We make our way out of town and down small winding Alabama "back" roads.

Eventually the there are no houses and no lights and for a group of teenagers, it's pretty creepy.

The Sunbird tape player is blasting out Queen's Greatest Hits as the road becomes barley wide enough for two cars. The Fall moon flashes behind trees as their arms reach over the roadway. Suddenly the tape player stops and quickly comes back on again. It does this one or two more times. We dismiss the event as coincidence.

Seconds later we come to a curve in the road. If you're not paying attention you will go straight into the woods and into a small stream. We make the sharp left and our headlights uncover the bridge. We stop.

Bridge similar to Gloria's bridge

About fifteen feet in front of us is an old wooden bridge. A support truss runs along the top and wooden planks run horizontally to make up the one lane crossing. This was it, Gloria's bridge.

We approached slowly not sure if the bridge would hold the weight of the car and to make sure a car was not approaching the bridge. As we slowly crossed we could hear each board clap in a rhythmic pattern. We caught a quick glimpse of the moon from the break in the trees that hung over the stream.

After crossing we found a spot to turn around approached the bridge again. This time we parked dead center turned off the lights and engine. The only sound was the dull sound of water slowly flowing fifteen feet below. If there ever was a haunted bridge, "This was it", we thought.

Following legend protocol we cracked our windows and called, "Gloria, Gloria, Gloria" and immediately rolled them back up. The moon slowly made it's way through the trees. The hill behind us was well lit but the woods surrounding is were dark black.

After an uneventful hour we decided to call it a night. Somewhat disappointed we made our way home thinking, "so much for Gloria's bridge". When we got home, however, our thought's would change...

Next post - Images, Are these real?


Saturday, October 03, 2009

Georgia vs LSU - Bonehead play of the week?

Girl Referee says bonehead
Disclaimer: SirJager is a Crimson Tide fan so this is a completely unbiased opinion. Aren't they all!

Now for the bonehead play of the week!

Up until the last few minutes of the LSU-Georgia game a total of 13 points had been scored. 7-6 Georgia. The last 2 minutes of the game were what college football is all about except for the moronic referees.

First LSU scores a TD with about 2:53 left in the game to make the score 12-7 (2pt conversion failed). Georgia has 2:30 to go down the field to score and 'probably' win the game.

Guess what? In a classic final drive, Georgia scored a TD with 1 minute left. Joe Cox, Georgia's QB, threw a leap ball for A.J. Green who just out jumped the LSU defender for the touchdown. What happens next will go down in one of the all-time bonehead referee calls. Georgia gets a penalty for excessive celebration after the TD.

After 15 different angles none of the sports announcers could find the penalty. What the hell are the players suppose to do after scoring the so-called winning TD over the #4 team in the country after driving 800 yards down the field?

So Georgia gets nailed with a 15 yard penalty on the kickoff and all LSU needs is a field goal. The score is 13-12 Georgia. After the kickoff, 15 yards back and a decent return from LSU's, Trindon Holliday AND a 5 yard penalty for only having 3 men on one side of the kicker, (uh what's that?), LSU ends up with the ball on the Georgia 38 with over a minute left. Talk about stupid rules ruining the game...

Well it takes LSU about 3 plays for Charles Scott to scoot into the endzone for a LSU touchdown. Scott makes a motion to the crowd which gets him a 15 yard penalty. Time was pretty much against Georgia and that did them in, LSU winning 20-13.

Like I said earlier, I really don't care who won but I hate the fact the referees really screwed up a great college football finish. Hell, if I would have scored a TD I would have moonwalked, while spiking the ball and calling Jerry McGuire on my iPhone.

So this week's "bonehead play of the week" goes to the referees in the Georgia-LSU game.

What say you?

-from the sports desk of SirJager


Monday, September 28, 2009

Posting from 38,000ft

There's not many times I get to blog from 38,000ft. Might I recommend the flight from Atlanta to Phoenix with free Internet and TV.
See you in Phoenix...


Saturday, September 26, 2009

Tebow Hurt - Urban dumbass?

Hey they always say "It's fun until somebody gets hurt".

Well Tim Tebow may have a reason to cry this year. In the third quarter of the Kentucky game Tim got his bell rung and was taken to hospital by ambulance.

Florida was only leading 31-7, so they really needed another 40 points to put the game away. You have to hand it to Urban Meyer and staff on working to rack up the score.

If you're a Florida Gator fan, sorry, but before you start blasting me take it up with your coach. I certainly hope Tebow is ok, but jacking up the score on a team you don't need to, will only get you trouble. Playing football in the SEC is as much player survivability as anything and that's up to the coaches. I think you will agree...


Life is like a box of ____________________?

This was a facebook status question I posted...

Life is like a box of _________________?
NOTE: you can't say chocolates

So here are some of the answers...

lightbulbs.. some work.. some will never work.. lol
Poop.. confusing and smelly
eggs. Some are double yoked.. some are cracked.

SHARE the wisdom!
Be sure to pass this incredible site to a friend and don't forget to SUBSCRIBE yourself!



Friday, September 18, 2009

E-Cigarettes - What the ...?.

The future of smoking is here! So they say.

Electronic cigarettes or E-cigarettes are the wave of the future. I mean just check out the picture. You just charge the little thing up and smoke away. The charge is just like a real pack too, it lasts for one day. Can you imagine the fights at the airport for a freakin plug to charge your "smoke". hmmm maybe a new business all in itself.

There are a few things though that would make e-Cigs even cooler.

Wireless Internet embedded - track your smoking on your laptop, even post WHEN and WHERE you are smoking to Twitter. That would be awesome!

Play a fight tune - download your favorite college fight songs

Darth Vader Sounds - When you inhale and exhale have some cool sounds like Darth Vader breathing

Cell Phone - use as bluetooth mic for your cell or just have cell phone right in cigarette.

Colored Smoke - some type of cool smoke with fragrance or better yet Glow in the Dark smoke.

Sound record and playback - record yourself talking and playback and your friends would be amazed you can talk with out moving lips or better yet record some Sinatra and you'll be the hit of the party. Should come with 10 pickup lines

Built in IPod - I would just assume this is already built in to a E-cig

Gun - you know like on Get Smart

Flashlight - So you can work under the sink and smoke at the same time

Waterproof - So you can smoke while diving.

OpenSource - This is only for you geeks. But you should be able to create plugins for the E-Cigarette. OK let me guess the first "plugin" - Pot simulator or maybe we just create the iPot.

The downside to the E-Cigarette is:

What will the birds eat? Don't they eat all those cigarette butts laying around?
What will ashtray cleaners do?
What will ashtray manufacturers do?
What will my kids make at camp?
Will Bic survive?
How will my kids light fireworks?
Who will start those little fires on the side of the road?
Will the art of thumping butts go away?
Tough guys can't put cigs out on their chest.
Airlines will have to redo safety videos and remove lavatory stickers

My wife can't tell me to go to store to buy cigs anymore

I don't have a reason to get out of house
What if we are hit by a EMP (Electromagnetic Pulse Attack) and we have no power?
and last but not least
Where can I get REAL second hand smoke!

if you enjoyed this post please share or comment...


Thursday, September 10, 2009

Prostitution for Dummies - ACORN can help!

Looking to start a great new home-based business. Well here's a book that can get you started. good Luck!


Sunday, August 09, 2009

Tweet this, it's Awesome

Twitter users, This is twomething you twave to tweet!

Russ B of the Internet Review twalls it, "absolutely twilarious".


Monday, August 03, 2009

Those Wacky Birthers!

Ohhh those wacky kooky birthers are getting their time in the limelight.

What is a birther? Well to hear the left and many in the media it's some "nut job" claiming Barack Obama is not a "natural born" citizen.

Why should anyone even question the fact? I mean his birth certificate was even posted on the Internet. Holy shit! It's on the Internet then it must be true. Even press secretary Robert Gibbs laughed and said what do you guys want it's on the Internet. Actually what's on the Internet is a Certificate of Live Birth from the state of Hawaii, not the actual birth certificate.

Well, now there is another birth certificate on the Internet and this one says Obama was born in Kenya. It must be a fake, it's on the Internet...ooops we can't say that.

Now I can't say what's real and what's not real. The whole issue could be resolved easily if Obama would release the original birth certificate, then the nutty birthers could go back to something important like say...finding bigfoot. Can you say transparency?

Non-birthers? Oh you're not getting off that easy! I bet at little league all-star games you're the ones screaming "HEY that kid can't be 12 years old! Where's his birth certificate?". Or maybe you were one of the one's who thought the Chinese "actually" cheated in the Olympics.

This did happen to me when I played little league. The team we played had some gargantuan kid pitching with more facial hair than one of those Geico caveman commericals. What did we hear?, "HEY that kid's too old to play little league!". The next day the team had to bring the kids original birth certificate to prove he was 12 years old. He was, and everyone shut up.

So who is the nutcase?

Both documents are listed below, I'll let you decide which nutcase you want to be.


Friday, July 31, 2009

Cash for Clunkers? Why not Cash for Old People!

No offense if you consider yourself old but the "Cash for Clunkers" deal should be extended to "Cash for Old People".

Here's the theory...

The new health bill has some kinda crap in there about end of life, EOL, consultation once you reach a certain age. So there's no doubt the left considers us common folk to have a shelf life and eventually to become well a "clunker" just like a car that doesn't meet their standards.

So maybe they should make a program so "clunker people" can turn themselves in, in return for $4500. You can choose to give the money to your family or better yet take a hmmmm death cruise. Spend 7 luxurious days and nights on board the USS Morgue.

Hope I didn't offend any "clunkers" out there...


It's been a while!

Good grief...The number one rule of a blog is to keep it going, up to date , blah blah.

That hasn't happened here has it?

Well I grab a bottle and hopefully get started again. There's a lot to rant about.


Friday, January 09, 2009

Official SirJager Final College Football Rankings

Here is the final SirJager College Football Standings.

Here's the real deal people. No one has paid me off so here's the true unbiased rankings for the year!

1. Utah
2. Florida
3. Texas
4. T - Oklahoma/Alabama
6. USC 

Utah is undefeated. You really can't make an argument there unless you want a playoff system. Florida is #2 as they did lose to Ole Miss and the QB teared up during an interview. Oklahoma and Alabama tied at fourth. Again what can you say have a playoff system. Alabama only loss was to the #1 and #2 team and Oklahoma did hang with Florida.

The final game was not very impressive, at least through the first three quarters as I went to bed. I expected two power houses to come out and go all out for #1.

ESPN headlines had Florida as "Chompions". How long did it take to make that crap up? In the back of their minds they still want USC to be #1 but just couldn't muster up the kahunas to put them there this year.

Next year? Who knows. The only thing I can say is, I wish Boise State would get a new field. How annoying is that thing?

Final Note: Not happy with the rankings? I have a paypal account email me and I'll see what I can do.


Tuesday, January 06, 2009

iPhone Camera Bag App

UPDATE: I've added a new review for Camera Bag on

After playing with my iPhone for a month I would give the iPhone camera a 6 out of 10. It takes OK pictures but you have to tinker a bit to get something decent.

Now I'm not going to replace my DSLR with the iPhone camera but it does have it's place in my world of photography. Like I always say, "Guns don't kill people, people kill people", so the same goes for taking pictures. Think about it.

Anyway here's a little app that will spruce up your iPhone pics and it's cheap. I got it for 99 cents. It's called camera bag and duplicates certain "styles" of pictures. One is Ansel Adams and as you can imagine converts it to black and white. Another I like is called 1974 which looks like an old image from you guessed it, 1974.

You can see some examples on The Chronicles of Jager which is all done via my mobile phone which is an iPhone these days.



Monday, January 05, 2009

Franken to be declared winner - Imagine that!

Great job Minnesota. As soon as Franken gets a lead Harry Reid is ready to seat him and now Minnesota says unless the supreme court acts on Coleman's request to recount Al Franken will be seated as Senator.

While we are at it let's just put the whole cast of SNL in Washington.


Sunday, January 04, 2009

Low Carbon foods

Yes you read right - low carbon foods. Some of the chatter out there now is how our eating is effecting the environment.

Beef of chicken? Well beef is not very environmentally friendly. The cows live longer and produce more methane.

California and New York are going to put sticker on cars with a rating based on how much carbon they produce. If we do this for the cars shouldn't we do it for the cows too? Maybe people should just have to wear stickers based on their carbon production.

Is it possible these studies are showing up now just before Obama is set to take office?

Your thoughts?