Sunday, October 18, 2009

Einhorn is Finkle, Finkle is Einhorn, OMG Tebow is a man!

Tim Tebow holds while Tim Tebow kicks the game winning field goal against Arkansas.

Alllll righty then!

As the saying goes, "Einhorn is Finkle, Finkle is Einhorn...OMG Tim Tebow is a Man!" Yes believe it or not he is actually human.

Before you Gator fans start "chomping" into me, hear me out.

Are you ever concerned that a sportscaster is just going to molest Tim Tebow? I mean these guys are in love with the man.

Don't get me wrong, Tebow is a great player but give us all a break. Sports announcers just can't seem to get enough of saying "Tebow". Yesterday the...ah-hem...kicker won the game for the Florida Gators and I still have no idea who this guys was. The sports announcer was like, "And here's blah blah on to kick,,,, AFTER Tim Tebow drives down the field!" The kicker wins the game and "The kick is Good! Tebow has done it."

At first I thought it was an infatuation with the Florida Gators. Considering it was a non-ESPN channel, who by the way are heads over heels over the #1 college team in the Universe - USC, I thought these guys may just be Gator Maters. But the more I listened I finally figured out, the Florida Gators DIDN'T EVEN PLAY!
It was just Tim Tebow.

And why shouldn't it be, as the whole family was there. I even noticed several family members wearing black and white uniforms running around on the field during the game.

Now, If you go back an analyze the game you'll see it was actually Tim Tebow who kicked the winning field goal! Not only that, Tim Tebow was also the holder. I guess he really is just a one man team.

I can see the headlines next year - "Tim Tebow Drafted to New York Jets, Rest of Team Let Go".

Tim, you're a great player but take my advice; "Never pick up the soap in the shower when a sportscaster is nearby."

Sportscasters, you guys need to control your hormones or I'm gonna have to put you on the Football Sex Offender list.

"annnnd that's a wrap" so says the rant of Sir Jager


Saturday, October 17, 2009

Where the Wild Things Are ...Not - Movie Review

Where the Wild Things Are...Well I can tell you where the I hell want to be - Where the Wild Things Are not. Talk about a crapper of a movie. I mean I felt like I just spent 2 hours with my psychologist.

I never read the book so maybe I'm missing something. But some kid (Max) who goes mental and sails off in a boat to some strange island with a bunch of guys dressed up like the chickens and goats is not my cup of tea.

The best thing that could have happened would the mom could have caught Max running away and beat the shit out of him with a belt and we could have all gone home.

Save your money and go beat the crap out of your stuffed animals.


Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Aliens over Moscow!

This just in... A giant UFO has been spotted over Moscow! Well my first thought was those crazy Russians have been sipping on the old vodka bottle a little too long. Then I saw the video.

The first thing you think of is Independence Day, Russian style. Hold on though... it's just the sun shining through the clouds. Those goofy that a word? Anyway I have to admit it's a pretty cool cloud and probably some UFO kooks will swear up and down "It really was a UFO". Anyway just watch the video to see a really cool cloud.

For myself I'll just get back to reality and write about Ghosts running around on bridges in the middle of Alabama.


Friday, October 09, 2009

Going to see Worst Movie ever!

When do you get a chance to see the worst movie ever made? Well I'm headed to New Orleans this weekend to do just that. Yes I'm going to see Troll 2! Actually I'm going to see a documentary about the movie then watch the movie itself which has become a cult classic.

Is it the worst movie ever? Well I've seen some pretty bad ones so I'll let you know next week if I give it a big thumbs down!


Sunday, October 04, 2009

Gloria's Bridge - Ghost encounter #1

The year was 1984. Reagan was battling the Cold War, David Lee Roth was still in Van Halen, and SirJager went to Gloria's bridge.

What is Gloria's bridge? If you've ever thought of what a haunted bridge might look like, Gloria's bridge was it.

So the story goes...

Legend has it many years ago there was a car wreck on an old bridge and a young girl named Gloria was killed. Some say her body was never found. The legend also goes that if you call her name from the bridge she will appear in front of you.

Now, when a kid turns 16 and gets his driver's license, there are a few things on the to-do list. Aside from the usual, a haunted bridge twenty minutes away, was on the Jager list.

The First Trip
The moon is out, but it's still a dark Autumn night in Alabama. Four kids pile into a Pontiac Sunbird and head for the town of Sylacauga. We were given directions but still not sure we would find the bridge. Our trip carries us through the quiet town center passing an occasional group of high school kids hanging out for the weekend. We make our way out of town and down small winding Alabama "back" roads.

Eventually the there are no houses and no lights and for a group of teenagers, it's pretty creepy.

The Sunbird tape player is blasting out Queen's Greatest Hits as the road becomes barley wide enough for two cars. The Fall moon flashes behind trees as their arms reach over the roadway. Suddenly the tape player stops and quickly comes back on again. It does this one or two more times. We dismiss the event as coincidence.

Seconds later we come to a curve in the road. If you're not paying attention you will go straight into the woods and into a small stream. We make the sharp left and our headlights uncover the bridge. We stop.

Bridge similar to Gloria's bridge

About fifteen feet in front of us is an old wooden bridge. A support truss runs along the top and wooden planks run horizontally to make up the one lane crossing. This was it, Gloria's bridge.

We approached slowly not sure if the bridge would hold the weight of the car and to make sure a car was not approaching the bridge. As we slowly crossed we could hear each board clap in a rhythmic pattern. We caught a quick glimpse of the moon from the break in the trees that hung over the stream.

After crossing we found a spot to turn around approached the bridge again. This time we parked dead center turned off the lights and engine. The only sound was the dull sound of water slowly flowing fifteen feet below. If there ever was a haunted bridge, "This was it", we thought.

Following legend protocol we cracked our windows and called, "Gloria, Gloria, Gloria" and immediately rolled them back up. The moon slowly made it's way through the trees. The hill behind us was well lit but the woods surrounding is were dark black.

After an uneventful hour we decided to call it a night. Somewhat disappointed we made our way home thinking, "so much for Gloria's bridge". When we got home, however, our thought's would change...

Next post - Images, Are these real?


Saturday, October 03, 2009

Georgia vs LSU - Bonehead play of the week?

Girl Referee says bonehead
Disclaimer: SirJager is a Crimson Tide fan so this is a completely unbiased opinion. Aren't they all!

Now for the bonehead play of the week!

Up until the last few minutes of the LSU-Georgia game a total of 13 points had been scored. 7-6 Georgia. The last 2 minutes of the game were what college football is all about except for the moronic referees.

First LSU scores a TD with about 2:53 left in the game to make the score 12-7 (2pt conversion failed). Georgia has 2:30 to go down the field to score and 'probably' win the game.

Guess what? In a classic final drive, Georgia scored a TD with 1 minute left. Joe Cox, Georgia's QB, threw a leap ball for A.J. Green who just out jumped the LSU defender for the touchdown. What happens next will go down in one of the all-time bonehead referee calls. Georgia gets a penalty for excessive celebration after the TD.

After 15 different angles none of the sports announcers could find the penalty. What the hell are the players suppose to do after scoring the so-called winning TD over the #4 team in the country after driving 800 yards down the field?

So Georgia gets nailed with a 15 yard penalty on the kickoff and all LSU needs is a field goal. The score is 13-12 Georgia. After the kickoff, 15 yards back and a decent return from LSU's, Trindon Holliday AND a 5 yard penalty for only having 3 men on one side of the kicker, (uh what's that?), LSU ends up with the ball on the Georgia 38 with over a minute left. Talk about stupid rules ruining the game...

Well it takes LSU about 3 plays for Charles Scott to scoot into the endzone for a LSU touchdown. Scott makes a motion to the crowd which gets him a 15 yard penalty. Time was pretty much against Georgia and that did them in, LSU winning 20-13.

Like I said earlier, I really don't care who won but I hate the fact the referees really screwed up a great college football finish. Hell, if I would have scored a TD I would have moonwalked, while spiking the ball and calling Jerry McGuire on my iPhone.

So this week's "bonehead play of the week" goes to the referees in the Georgia-LSU game.

What say you?

-from the sports desk of SirJager